Mystical Husband

Last night I intended to once again engross myself in The Future of Marriage, but instead, my husband and I got to talking, and there went my night. I am so blessed to have such a rich marriage. Ten years in the same bed, under the same roof, and we still captivate and fascinate each other with these long, deeply engaging conversations. Family is definitely our most frequent topic, as it was last night.

My husband told me a story once long ago of the time when he was a teenager that he had to stand up to his father physically, and it forever changed their relationship. He didn't recount this story last night, but he was definitely referring to it when he explained to me that in order for a boy to become a man, he must, in one clearly defined moment of lasting import, prove his physical superiority to his father. Whether this physical superiority is gained through simply being younger and healthier than one's father, or whether it's a superiority of strength, speed, or athletic prowess, a boy simply cannot be a man if he hasn't done this thing.

I have no way to know for sure whether my husband is right about this, but I do know that he adores and admires his father. They have a strong, solid relationship built on real love and deep mutual respect. There is no question between them or among the rest of us about where each of them stands. They bring out the best in the people around them, especially when they are together. They are at once anchors and beacons of light for their family.

I also know that my father-in-law has remained single, without so much as a girlfriend, for the whole of the 20+ years since his wife divorced him. Despite all the pain and anger he has nursed over the years, he still cannot bear to take a second wife. If his children cannot call her Mom, how can he call her wife? The cost has been high, but this is the greatest gift he has given his children, and he continues to reap the rewards, year after year.

I am so blessed to be loved by these men, and I cannot wait to conceive and bear the next generation in this honorable tradition.