Another Goody for the Old Timers
It's another one of these tracts that glorifies the Baby Boomers' childhoods because they didn't have seatbelts or video games or remote controls, and they got spanked, and their parents didn't have to worry about child abductions or food poisoning. The worst part is this end quote:
"LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA, AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T- SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED."These things almost feel like a slap in the face when I get them (always from a Baby Boomer) because of the hypocrisy of it. My father introduced me to video games, and my mother was ecstatic when she bought our first TV with a remote control. She always made us wear our seatbelts on every car ride. They made us latch-key kids and taught us how to avoid being abducted or abused. They didn't believe in spanking. There was a huge salmonella outbreak when I was a kid. The list goes on and on. All the things they deride in these emails came on the scene under their watch. Yet they don't appear to grasp this. They simply say, "Sorry for what you missed!" And notice they don't offer up even a whiff of a thank you to their parents for providing this wonderful childhood to them.
I've seen other pieces like this that don't just glorify the 50's and 60's, but are also derisive of Gen Xers on down. They practically take credit for the wonderful childhoods their parents worked so hard to give them, while blaming us for our chaotic childhoods that left us apathetic and detached. The same derision is reflected in all the nicknames they've given our generation(s) highlighting our selfishness and apathy. Where do they think we learned it?
The Divorce Generation ended their marriages in record numbers, and not just because of abuse or infidelity. The majority of those marriages were low conflict. They just weren't "fulfilling" enough. The love that created us wasn't important enough to them to keep it alive. So they blamed each other for their problems and gave up on their marriages to try to find that perfect spouse with whom they could live a fairytale life of neverending romantic bliss. Funny thing is, none of the ones I know ever found it. In fact, they found mostly a life of more heartbreak. The Baby Boomers I know who stayed married haven't had storybook marriages, but they've had more security, success, and happiness than the divorced boomers I know. And the differences between the grown children of the married parents and the divorced parents is striking.
I've read in a number of places that people my age generally support a return to more conservative values regarding marriage and divorce, and they are deeply afraid of experiencing divorce themselves and putting their own children through it. Nonetheless, the divorce rate hasn't moved much. Too often, we still have this fairytale version of marriage in our heads, where finding the right person means that keeping the passion and romance alive will be easy. Well, five years into a happy marriage of my own (after 5 years of cohabitation), I can testify that it's not. There are boring parts. There are annoying parts. There are frustrating and infuriating parts. Sometimes you just have to weather the storm. But once you get past it, things are better than they have ever been. Your commitment is stronger, your history is richer, your story more dramatic. Ironically, my divorced mother-in-law's advice to me on my wedding day for a successful marriage was, "Just don't ever give up." She learned her lesson the hard way, and my husband and I intend not to repeat it.
We won't be able to give our future kids a childhood without fear of abduction or food poisoning. In fact, there is much more for parents to fear today than there was when we were children. And the passive entertainment options are seemingly infinite and getting more numerous all the time. It will be quite a challenge trying to figure out how to parent in this world of cell phones, the internet, and incredibly violent and sexual video games. But whatever mistakes we make, at least we'll be able to give our children the benefits of commitment and stability. We'll show them what marriage really is, and that the love that created them is a beautiful thing worth nurturing and honoring.
